UPDATE 17/02/2026 (Are things getting better)

I should have wrote an update sooner instead of just posting on Bsky, I no longer risk being homeless. Unfortunately, my state help has been cut (not because of mother, it was given to me "by mistake" so the CROUS won't ask me to refund), so I will have to work on commissions faster and maybe look for a side job so I can still afford food and my train card to finish studies.

After being willing to learn more about my handicap, grandma became very supportive toward me. She said that she would not throw me outdoors and that she would help me financially whenever I needed, she does not approve my parents getting angry and telling me attrocities over things I do not control. As for mother, after trying to rewrite up what was said Saturday (and failed because I did not forget a single thing), she claimed that she apparently did not think what was said Saturday, she was angry and, for some reason, really wants me back at her place (while letting me be on healthcare, but I do know she is personally against it ; she just cannot block my path again since my entire circle is aware of the situation).

I do not know about father because I went no-contact since New Year eve (aside from what happened Saturday). He is the kind to think and to believe what he says, and the thing he really worries about more than anything is his image, so I highly doubt he regrets kicking me out for needing healthcare and abusing me, let alone thinking that it was abuse. Mother and brother talked with father about she way he treats me, but I do not feel like the discussion was serious (I was not there) : when I asked to mother what was said, I feel like she totally forgot why she sent me to grandma in first place, she started to talk about father "never telling me to leave" or whatever..

I did not leave because "father wanted to", I left because he was abusing me. I suspect mother to have half-arsed the discussion just for the sake of taking me back for the holidays. Abuse survivors are well placed to testify that abusers do not change from one discussion ; I am not foolish and I do know that father will just play pretend for 15 days so I do not alert my circle and then abuse me again. I expressed my concern to grandma (and the school staff which I update regularly) because I do not want her to fall for the trap, she wants me to test out for the holidays and to see things positively before jumping to negative conclusions. So I will have to go back to my parents' place and test out. I hope that this nightmare is finally over, but a part of me knows that it may be a trap. I do plan to be loud if it is, I will not stay in silence and abuse again.

On a side note, I really wanted to thank everyone for sharing my emergency post and supporting me. I did not expect to recieve funds so fast in such a dark time, I really am touched. I started to spend a bit on necessary material, but now that I no longer risk being homeless, have grandma's support and that things appear to be more tame, all the funds will be for buying food and financing the train card. Commissions are not emergency anymore, but they stay priority as I do not have enough to finish the year.

As I expressed on Bsky, I feel bad for getting too personal online although I was on the verge of being homeless. Unless things get as dangerous again, I may no give any more updates publicly. If you are a donator and wish to have more info about how your donation is used, feel free to reach me in PM (I will probably spend a lot of time thanking you personally, I am forever grateful)

Thanks a lot for reading. I wish you a great day / night and a happy Year of the Fire Horse. I hope this New Year will be good, at least..