UPDATE 03/01/2026 (Happy New Year)

Happy New Year to whoever reads this. I wasn't in the mood to wish Happy New Year to people I know personally because I lived the worst New Year eve of my life & struggle to sleep since (at least more than I usually do).

I realised that I am not overreacting about being abused because I am not physically safe at my parents' place anymore (ironically, the abuser is my father - someone who saved me in the past & I always trusted until last month). If I promised a game or an art collab, I may not be able to do it as I'm looking for a shelter. My mom proposed that I spend some days at grandma's (mother side) the time that she comes up with a solution, but I doubt she will find one as she struggles to accept that I am no longer safe here & that I must leave.

I hesitate to open emergency commissions in case things don't work out. One of my commissioners suggested it but I already struggle to finish normal commissions. I was a fool & thought I was safe at "home" so I spent the money I had left for December. It's always when I'm low on money that stuff like this happens.

Perhaps I will feel better soon because my mom found a doctor who would help with my depression & anxiety (the suicide prevention centre that was recommended to me was not able to help). It has been years since I should have been on meds.

This update is mostly me doom-posting. I don't have many hopes for 2026. People always say "things get better" but they get worse for me. I only wish this life to my enemies & people who fake illnesses, poverty & abuse.